About that Wife Life: Hooch-less Halloween

Last year, I’ll admit, I half-assed Halloween.

 <—– that right there is my deflated
Halloween Spirit, 2013 (far right).

This year, I owe Jesse a real Halloween.
He completely supported my low key Halloween last year, so I think we should amp it up and actually do something fun and eventful….
…yet, still not a club….nooo, thank you.

And we are!  Headed to see Queens of the Stone Age, at the Forum, Halloween Night!

Cool, right?
Jesse’s favorite band, a lot of fun frolicking and I even wrangled that day off at work.  I’d say I am definitely on the way to ensuring that Jesse has a terror-riffic Halloween.

Except one minor detail…..I still have no costume.

The hubs has an original army costume, circa WWII era, so he suggested that I look into a complimentary military costume.
I looked at him and said, “Do you understand what military costumes for women look like?”
Upon the shake of his head, I google-searched Women’s Military Halloween Costumes.

And the results looked something like this:

My husband literally recoiled.  He’s a bit of a WWII and military buff and was rather repulsed.
He exclaimed, “THIS!  These are your options?! These are cheesy and embarrassing…and nowhere near historically accurate.”

I laughed at the “historically accurate” complaint and then asked if he was sure that he didn’t want me in public with propellers spinning on my breasts.  He shot that idea down and declared it rather embarrassing.

So I still don’t have a costume, being that I do not care to be a Dominatrix Darling, who serves in the Army, or a Militant Maid, who can personally handle your “gun” or Bombshell Betty, whose breasts are Weapons of Mass Destruction.  Sorry, just not into having my ass hang out these days.  It’s boring and once Miley did it, it’s ultra-boring.

However, I woke up this past Saturday morning with an email from Jesse, entitled “Come Sail Away.”  Within the email, there were a dozen links to retro and pinup sailor dresses and outfits….and all respectable, comfortable and cute.

A few of the highlights….

So I get to be comfortable, feel sassy and maintain my class…..no ass.

My husband saw the problem and put himself in my shoes and researched ways that I could have a costume and not feel like I was shockingly inappropriate.  None of his suggestions came with breast-spinning attachments, so I feel that we might be on the right path to getting me a workable costume that will hold up through our Halloween festivities.